Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You've changed since you got that strap on
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
