I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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