who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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