you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
