Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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