: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
