I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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