just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i will never coherently bang her
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
