Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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