dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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