I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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