Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
