I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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