Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think a kid would responsible me up
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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