I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize