jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
