I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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