It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
