I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
