Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize