Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
