Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't turn off my feet"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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