How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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