I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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