Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
