are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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