I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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