the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
