It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
