Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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