just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
