Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
