I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
