i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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