All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
