just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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