Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
