maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
