The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
