He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
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I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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