when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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