I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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