my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
