ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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