I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it was like eating out sand paper
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
