i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
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My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am available for nakedness
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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