i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
