In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
