I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
