Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
