Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
