i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
