I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
