If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
