I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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