Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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