just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
