I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
