im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
