I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
