If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
