dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
