I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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