I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize