belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
