what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
