i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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