I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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