Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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