I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
