Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
